The fashion conscious new mommy

So sue me! I love to be dressed up at all times. I dont mean dressed up like i have a party to attend every night but i love clothes (a little more than normal) and love to be well dressed and smartly turned out. Is that wrong? Just becasue i am expecting, people expect me to look tired out and under-dressed. One of my cousin sisters even mentioned to me - ' oh you are dressed up. My cousin used to be so shabbily dressed'. Is that normal? Am i acting abnormal for my time?

And what's wrong in being dressed up anyway? When my baby sees my pictures from before he/she was born - why should he/she see a drab mother? And it goes without saying that i will dress up my cuddly in the best possible thingies for him/her. (isn't it agravating - he/she, him/her? imagine how i feel about it!!!!)

The Motherhood crash course

As a lil girl, i always thought that all mothers have a secret society. When they are preparing to be mommies, they are secretly inducted in for a crash course where they ALL learn certain dialogues and common traits. Why did i think so? Because all the mothers i saw around me, like my aunts and cousins and my own mum obviously  - said a LOT of similar dialogues to their children.

If you're Indian, (or maybe even not an Indian maybe it was a global society!!!) you will totally nod through these dialogues. Hopefully i won't use these. Or maybe i will, time can only tell......

#1   Clean your room! Now! you cant go out and play until you clean your room.
#2   How can you ever find anything in this mess?
#3   Dont you dare talk to your mum in that tone. No! dont change it now, you know you said it rudely. Say sorry! Say sorry now!!!!
#4   Go and finish your homework. After that we'll see about TV.
#5   I never troubled my mother so much. I was such a well behaved child. Ask your naani (mother's mother = naani)
#6  You are sitting too close to the TV, you'll get specs. Come behind.
#7   Eat this! I dont care if you throw up. I want that plate clean.
#8   You'll only realize my value when you stay alone. That time you'll understand why mum says these things (in an emotional tone)
#9   I shout at you to make you a better person baby.
#10  Get off the telephone. You are going to spoil your ears!
#11  Who are you speaking to? (typically asked by Indian mums once the girl is a teenager!)
#12   What time will you be back? Kid: 8 pm. Mom: No make it 7. Kid: aaaah no 7:45. Mom: 7:15. Kid: Ok (sad face)
#13   Mum knows best. Do what I am telling you to do. Dont ask silly questions. You'll appreciate this one day.
#14  Don't ask me anything henceforth. You are going to do what you want anyway so why ask me....hmmph.
#15   Behave yourself.
#16  Behave at the party/wedding /social function. I dont want people to think that i have raised a brat.
#17  No! You are not old enough / you're too old for this (depending on the situation)
#18  Money doesn't grow on trees. Daddy  /We work hard to earn it. Learn to use it carefully.
#19  If you make that face again, it'll get stuck in that position.
#20  (this comes when you are a little grown up) - What if everyone jumped off into the sea/well? You will also jump? Can't you use your sense?
#21  I don't care what XYZ's mom says. My answer is a no. Others can do what they want.
#22  I am not coming to meet your teacher/principal. You better behave in school.
#23  You better look at me when i talk to you. I don't like it when you text when i m speaking.
#24  Are you going out wearing that? At least comb your hair!
#25  Don't you understand when i say no?
#26  I am going to tell Dad (as if he's some monster)then you deal with him.

Also, all mothers seem to know a lot of unfortunate people. Like the boy who didn't eat spinach / carrots / some other veggie and got thick specs. Or the girl who went out to play with wet hair and got a bad fever and missed her best friend's birthday party. Or the girl who didn't listen to her mum and used the telephone while it was charging and got a bad shock, or the girl who pierced her ears in too many places and it got badly infected etc etc...........Lol

And another favourite used to be: Ask your dad, and when you went to ask dad he would say ask your mum.

Writing all these down, made me smile and think of my childhood. and now that i look back, maybe, just maaaybe there's a bit of wisdom there. I should totally use these with my baby!!! 

Aaaargh i want to dream right!!!!

Hmmph! I HATE the doctors in India. Because of the fact female foeticide which has been rampant in pockets of India (very bad!!! Ass***) the Government has passed a law that no one like absolutely NO ONE will be told the sex of their baby. Which makes me sad because i want to know whether i am dreaming right.

Right now i am so desperate to know whether i should dream of frills and pigtails or of Gi Joe or cars or whatever action figures. Sob i really really want to know badly.......not that if i have a son, i wont let him play with a doll. But i'll definitely be (more than a little) worried if he insists on buying doll houses.....Wish the doctors would tell us whether its a little Miss or a little master i am going to say hello to. Whether we'll have a little Daddy's girl or a Mama's boy........my little baby.....

But anyway, since i am not allowed to know who it is that i am carrying around, here's a little letter to my sweet lil prince/princess. No pressure sweetie but these are the traits i want you to have whether you are a girl or a boy. Like mama says, no pressure but if my baby is exactly like this, he/she will be one sweet lil obedient child!

Let's get on:
Looks: Daddy's. Take all of daddy's looks whether you are a girl or boy. It would be so cool to love two people who look similar. So hair / eyes/ nose/ lips etc etc should be daddy's.
Height: Daddy again! You dont want to be short my love. Be tall like daddy so mama can ask you to reach the higher shelves everywhere ;)
Athletic co-ordination: Oohhhh Definitely daddy's. Mama has zero hand eye co-ordination. You will be better off with being as athletic as your dad is.
Dancing Abilities: These should come from mama. Daddy doesn't dance. At all! Ever!
Directional Skills: Please be like daddy. Apart from the fact that daddy's profession demands it, he is exceptionally good with remembering roads and all. And poor lil me cant remember the way back home! (well not so bad but you get the drift)
Studies: Languages like mama but maths and other subjects like daddy. If you inherit my mathematical skills our family will be in real trouble! Maths HAS to be like daddy! Please!!
Concentration: Like daddy's. He is very good at being focused and stuff.
Creativity: Mama's. Though daddy measures up pretty well, he is sightly on the lower side of the scale. (sorry hubs - but i love you loads anyway)
Metabolism: Mama's please sweetie. Daddy as true blue punjabi genes and you dont want to be sweating it out in the gym. Trust me. Please take mine.
Nature: Ummmm tough one. Be like daddy, strong, kind, understanding, patient. But daddy's shy too, so maybe pick up a lil bit of un-shyness from mama and combine it with the best qualities from daddy. So all in all be a good combo. I mean it wont help if you are shy like dad and stubborn like mom. Thats a bad combo. Make it like sweet like dad and cautiously friendly like mama. Thats a nice combo. Ok? And be organised like daddy. Currently since i am the only one who's unorganised, daddy's ok with it, but i don't think he can take two of us!!!

Rest everything can be like dad! He is an awesome man!!! Like you'll obviously learn. He is the BEST dad any lil girl or boy could ever have. I am going to be the hitler i guess. Dad's going to be the sweeter one. Of course if you are a lil girlie, then you'll have him wrapped around your pinkie on day 1! And if you are a boy, you can expect him to be the PERFECT role model!

Love you lil baby. Just wish i knew whether you are a girl or boy!

XOXOXO

Things I miss most..........

Being in the waddly dawdlly state, here are a few things i miss most about not being pregnant (did i say that right? i meant what i miss about my pre-pregnancy days. Anyhoo.....here goes)

• My waistline.i don't have one anymore. *Sob*
• Drinking. You so knew that was going to come up.
• Dancing - I love to dance, it's one of my favourite exercises, and now i cant do it because i am a chunky monkey....
• Being able to just run / jog. Not that i am very athletic! Infact i am as non sporty as they come. But when you live in a city like mumbai and are as forgetful as i am, you have the moments wherein you just need to 'dash' to the bank/store; run to the supermarket or just generally jog around and enjoy the stinky pollution fresh air.
• Being able to move around quickly. I look like an energetic top half pulled behind by my laggy bottom half. All you women out there, i can just see you nod and smile. Men will never understand this. Unless they have massive beer bellies!
• Fitting into most of my clothes. I now have to shop for larger clothes (Yay shopping but uggh Size M or L or shudder XL!) Now i open my wardrobe and scour around for loose clothes.
• Wearing Heels.........When you are the size i am (petite - which is just a nicer word for short) and Mr Hubs is a tall man, heels are your best friend! (After diamonds of course. I don't want hubs to read this and buy me heels instead of diamonds. He is obviously allowed to buy me both!)
• Being quick. Pregnancy sort of slows you down. I admire all the mothers who have a second kid while while managing their first (crazy active) kids all by themselves.
• Being normal. Lol not that i am abnormal but people generally expect me to be a little more mature now that i'll be a mother.
• Binge eating. Very very surprisingly, now that i am pregnant, my food habits have become very picky. I can eat only in moderate quantities. I love you baby for making me so diet conscious....hope this lasts even after you come here. My healthy lil babie (dreamy smile)
• Doing random things at random times. (i am pretty sure hubs is happy this isnt happening anymore) but you know small things like - eating late, sleeping later, keeping weird timings, all just changes because the lil one needs to be regulated!

I miss these things though i am sure its not going to be for long. Hoping that my running/dancing/ doing stupid things energy lasts until after my baby gets to toddlerhood so i can run behind him/her. Won't i be a cool mom!

XOXOXO

Food Habits

Ever since people came to know i am expecting, i get a lot of foodie comments......not in the good sense. All my life i have been a normal-healthy eater, never been picky about what i eat, and my weight has been average or a bit below average. Just because i now carry a baby, people assume i should eat double or maybe even more!

A normal day for me starts off with - please drink milk, you need it, you must have milk, its so not good that you don't like milk, how will the kid get calcium blah blah......

Then comes the dry-fruit assault..........followed by the lunch barrage......and then dinner....

I just cant understand how much am i supposed to eat. Plus if i over-eat, i immediately throw up so what's the use? I also get lectures about how I should eat a lot of butter and meats so that the baby is delivered easily!!! Old Indian myths continue to rule motherhood till this day.

Reactions

When we told everyone that we are going to be parents - we had very typical Indian reactions from everyone in the family and extended family. And friends..........I thought I should document the reactions so that ALL you expectant parents will know what your family thinks....... Remember that being Indian, it's sort of considered that now that you're married you MUST reproduce so whenever you announce the 'good-news' everyone is going to be happy! That's the first reaction  (has to be we are the bloody second largest population.......people here have kids ALL the time)

Me: No! Really? How? No! OMG I am freaking out I can't do this its too huge!!!
Hubs: No! Really?? How? OMG we don' even look like parents!
MIL: Wow!!! Thank God......it's all God's blessings it's what God wished for! (Fervent hugs and kisses and God's blessings showered upon us)
FIL: Good! I am happy......
My mum: Good! Its the right age........its what God's wishes.....(fervent hugs and kisses and God's blessings) start drinking a lot of milk and have lots of juices........at this point the MIL n mum will join forces about how i don't take care of myself and berate me for two minutes. After realizing that i am the one who's giving them so much happiness (few tears - happy of course) they start with how nice it is that i am young and having a child at the "correct" time and how they are young enough to enjoy grandkids (why the plural!!!!!)
My Dad: Very good I am happy.....your mum doesn't look like a grand mother though......(awww daddy )
Hubs dadi: Waah! Thank God we are so happy....and a few words about 'humaare zamaane main.....'
Hubs dadaji: Smiles and says good, I just feel too weird and go out!
Hubs Naani: Thank God....I am going to see par pota/poti (or whatever is the right term) waah waah happy smiles hugs and kisses......eat lots of ghee.......apni sehat banao, you hardly eat....take eat some almonds!
Uncles (like mama / chacha etc): Oh great!
Aunties (like mami / chachi etc): We are promoted.....arre waah! do you get sick often? What do you feel like eating???
Cousin sisters - Elder ones: Oooooh wow! you will be in our league, long list of do's and don'ts (secretly they are just happy I'll also become fat i feel!!!!)
Cousin sisters - Younger ones: round eyed looks and loads of squeals..........(wait until u get here kiddo!)
Cousin brothers - whether young or elder ones get extra careful when you are around..It feels surreal because these were the boys who wanted to kick your dolls and tear your ribbons and generally fight with you. Few cooler ones will also advice you not to drink! (like i didn't know that sob sob)

Now the friends......the friends fall into three categories -married ones - with kids, married ones - without kids and unmarried ones.

Unmarried ones: wow! This is amazing I get to be uncle/aunty! Unbelievable!!!!! Yay I am going to baby sit for you ok....i LOVE kids (yeah sure let's see if you do!!)
Married ones (with kids): Great! Its the BEST feeling in the world, you will be great parents. ANY help tell us ok, anything you need to know!!!! the guys will then start about how their wives craved for something, the girls will advise me about some doctors / medications / home remedies / weird kiddie stories) All this is happening when they are wrestling  taking care of their own babies.
Married ones (without kids): WHAT!!!!!!!! Really! No!!!! How are you feeling? Listen please don't mention at my place ok.......our in laws are already behind us........can't believe it! Fervent discussion about let's not tell at home because we'll be dead types!

Anyone who personally knows me and is reading this - these are really the reactions guys, but I am documenting them just for fun.......please don't take it to your heart!

XOXOXO

Why cant kids grow on trees......

Especially when we had been told stories of birds n bees!!!!

What? a title.......i can just see the 'perfect' mommies n granmommies glaring at me and clucking with disapproval. Trust me i am not being mean.....just getting a little more tired with this waddling business.......feel like a penguin at times.....

but honestly in a well programmed world - let's imagine a baby came well programmed - blinked a certain way when hungry, gave a proper signal when wanted changing and then we all would live happily ever after!!!!!

what a random thought! but certainly most new mommies feel like this - dont you lie!

ooooh btw where can i find a good pair of maternity pants in Mumbai? I checked in many places but just couldn't find any..........One weird woman in whose shop I asked also said ' ummm no madam maternity pants nahi hain lekin pregnancy nighties hain" (we don't have maternity pants but have maternity nighties) So? Is that a valid substitute? If you can't find pants, wear a nightie???? Whatever can people think of!!!!

Floundering..........

Since we have found out that i am expecting, we have received a number of reactions and of course (unsolicited) advice from people who already have kids. I also began reading up on pregnancy, and early childcare and things like that. And not to mention the numerous trips to the malls to check out stores which sell baby stuff.

Till date whenever we passed baby stores or walked through a baby aisle in the shops we used to be like 'awwww' and thats that! But now knowing that i have to buy and probably make a tiny being wear these things makes me freak! haha dont get me wrong i am excited but also scared. And what all do i really need? Do we need a crib and a Moses basket and a pram and a child strappy thingy carrier and some weird harness specially attached with a diaper bag? Do I need to buy ergonomic bottles and weird shaped things? oooooh btw the pram/ stroller (dunno the difference yet) that my hubsie looooved was some branded Mc Laren thingy and it cost 35000 rupees. (approx: 520 Euros or 630 USD!!!) Is that normal amount? To spend for something in which the baby will mostly not be inside ALL the time? I am sure the baby will get picked up! I mean people will love my babie isn't it? So then should we get that?

And what in the world is a baby changing pad? Why can't i lay the baby on a bed and change its diaper? Which reminds me i should learn to change a diaper!!!! and make hubs learn too......

All this scares me sooooo much........i hope i get the proper things needed for my baby.....and what all do i need to get? I wish some diaper God (most likely a Goddess) will meet me and say 'here - you need to buy only this!!!!' will that happen?

does everyone go through this? or is it only me????

The Diaper Diary begins......

Hey!
I am an expectant mother in my early twenties. Expected to deliver my baby in November or December beginning......and have never been so nervous / excited / terrified / happy / depressed / confused in my whole life! Want to reach out to all the moms in the world and check out whether they feel the same and what do they do at such times.

The eye opener was when my sis' toddler came over and i asked him how to remove his diaper! it struck me how unprepared i am for this new life i am heading into! aaaaargh!!!!

i hope to be a nice mom though and what i lack in experience will try and make up in enthusiasm!!!!

XOXOXO