How to be a good mother

i guess i am too young for this mother job! because i dont wish to be a supermom. like one of those amazing women with a hundred hands and they are juggling a thousand things in those hundred hands. i just want that my baby has a nice normal childhood - just the way i had mine, not too much pressure (mind u i say not too much because these days the competition is inevitable) and a nice safe house to come back to. through my baby's life, i want my baby to know that he/she can do whatever he/she wants (provided its legal obviously) and whatever happens daddy and mommy are there back home for the kid.

the first pre-requisite is already fulfilled each woman who gives birth is a good mom i feel. u have to carry around the baby with u, make sure the baby is nourished and protected so already a woman is conditioned to be a good mom. Lol this means kangaroos are best mothers..........well no i dont mean that.

when i finally have the baby and when baby goes to school etc. maybe things will change. but i just want a nice happy childhood for my kid. i want my kid to believe in Santa Claus, read a fairy tale to my kiddo, make him/her read enid blyton, play a lot, fall down a bit, listen to family stories, be loved by grandparents, overeat the freshly baked cakes, jump on the bed and dance in the rain. its not like i will pull my child out of school and let him/her be at home. but i also dont want to make my kiddo join Ballet, swimming, dancing, yoga, culture class, tutions, skating, karate, aerobics, tennis and every other imaginable activity. so many kids spend their childhood running from class to class these days - what will they remember of their childhood?

i have seen so many moms multi tasking and taking their kids to malls and egging them on in the playzone areas to do better. at times these kids are being bribed for lack of time maybe. all i want to say in this long rambling post is to be a good mom, i should remember not to do all these things.

Just let my kid be. Kids are pretty forgiving. my baby needs my time, not my pressures. i'll bake cakes, teach my kid the small pleasures in life, and point out what he/she wants to know. i can be around when my baby falls and pick him/her up, and run ahead with him/her again. at times i'll be strict, but here's to the fact that i'll grow with my baby. 

The name game

In India the baby is named by the husband's sister. but things are changing and almost always everyone selects a name together. and hopefully this continues for me too (fingers crossed). i have had a few favourite names since childhood but there's also the constraint of naming the kid according to the letter suggested by the religious men. but not everyone follows that! and i dont know if i am going to be made to follow it but let's see......

And of course not knowing whether the baby is a boy or a girl makes it all quite difficult to choose names. So to summarise: aunty names baby, baby might have to be named according to a particular letter, and we dont know the gender- have all hampered our name game yet.

but here are a few things i want to remember while naming the lil one.

• i would love a name that means something nice cross culturally. like i dont want it to be only indian nice or arabic nice or asian nice. i want it world-wide nice
• i want to name the baby something that he/she will LOVE. lots of people have names which they dont like. but since my baby has to carry it through his/her life - it has to be something that he/she will always love
• it should sound correct. Shakespeare was totally bluffing when he said "What's in name?" if he believed in it why didnt he call Romeo - bumpy and Juliet - Minnie? or something as silly? 
• it should suit the lil personality that my baby has and the one she/he will develop later. like if i call him Rambo and he isnt the Rambo types? u see what i m trying to say here?
• call me old fashioned but if i have a girl i want a sweet sounding delicate kinds name. and a nice strong name for a boy. 
• i dont want to be bogged down by numerology and weird spellings that people make for good luck.
• the name shouldn't shorten to a weird/cruel/stupid nickname. i dont want my baby to be made fun of in school.
• my baby's initials need to be good. I know people whose initials are c.a.t or m.a.d. i feel really sorry for them.
• it should be easy to spell and learn when my baby starts learning to spell
• the name should appeal to me afterall i m the MUM

Let's count your blessings

At times i have to be mommy-like and teach my kid a few good things. one main value i'll definitely instill in my child is to respect God - in all forms and all religions. i want my child to know that there's a supreme being who we all have to respect and we must all know that God wills our life for us. things get a little tough at times but at the end, depend on God and all will be okay. and count your blessings - always. there are a hundred things that i need or want or have to think about and a hundred things running on my mind. but once you count your blessings you feel so nice and at peace. so babie - today we r going to count your blessings - specifically in the form of all the people you have around you. this way u'll learn a bit more about all of us too

• You are lucky you get to meet your great grand parents! they are waiting to see you, the baby of their 
• lil grandkid.....so their excitement is three-fold
• You are lucky to have cool grandparents. Naani and nana - (mum's parents) are already over excited to get to know you. you will be thoroughly spoilt there. and i can totally see daadi dada (dad's parents) spoiling u right now too.....by making me eat by making sure u are not troubled at all! they are all over excited to meet you. plus like they all say - they are 'young' so they are going to run around with you everywhere :)
• You are lucky to have the most awesome dad in the world. he is currently the BEST husband (well what do i know - i have only one but i m guessing he is ;) lol) he is always going to be there for you, take care of you, play all those (mindless) video games, carry you around, shop for you, teach you many things, be the nice over-protective daddy, just be awesome! i can totally see that he'll love you like crazy.
• you are lucky to have nice maasis (aunties - mom's sisters) who will spoil you again. They have spoilt me - your mum so its no surprise that they'll love their lil sister's baby. They will probably be the ones who'll smuggle chocolates and candies to you (just like i did for their kids). you are lucky to have a special maasi (S u know its u) who i havent met but she's a part of my life as much as anyone else. she's smart and talented and i will make her give you all the advise needed to be a nice person. 
• you are lucky to have an awesome bhua (aunty - dad's sister). she's been waiting for your arrival since day 1 and i think she has a plan in place for every single day of your life. she's going to be the best teacher who'll teach you funny and cool things alongwith the more serious stuff. 
• you are lucky to have all your elder cousins who will teach you bratty ways (Oh God how i'll spank u!!!) they'll baby you, fight with you, torture you and play with you. cousins are some of the best friends a person has, so make sure you bond well baby. they are like genetically God given friends. 
• you are lucky to have nice uncles. they will probably hang out with your daddy more than with you, but its because of these uncles that all your aunties are so happy! 
• and baby you are lucky to have me - your mum! i mean you have to count me in your blessings - i m not so bad! i'll play with u, try and teach u the right things, save everything of urs in a scrapbook, be your best friend, grow up with u, love u, kiss u till you get embarrassed in front of ur friends, and generally be the person u want me to be. 

these are just a few people i can think of. they all love me and i love them back. i'm sure my babie will love them all too. 

To my dear baby

Here are a few things i always wanted to do as a kid but wasnt allowed/stopped by my mum...........i'm thinking i'll let lil baby do these:

watch TV all day and night (ummm no not really)
eat loads of chocolate (yeah and join him/her)
go out and play in the rain
go out and play with wet hair
jump and dance in the bathroom and never come out....(yeah i was weird)
eat breakfast without brushing (yuck i never wanted to do it but maybe this lil one wud like this)
bunk school for fun (like just not go to school)
not interact with some weird people like the aunts and uncles who always said "oooooh u have grown up./ ..remember my name???" kind of people
not arrange the cupboard.........if this doesnt make me the BEST mother ever i dont know what will!
not force him/her to drink milk (i hated it...it used to be a major drama in my house every single day)

My pre baby vacation

We went to Goa for a friend's wedding, it was amazing. i had the best time.....it was so much fun to be alone, have a lot of time with hubby, dress up and have nothing else to do! Bliss! i couldnt help but think of this time next year......if we go on vacation, it'll be with bags of baby clothes, food, diapers, sanitizers, baby formula, tissues, and the list will go on......HELP HELP HELP

At times i get pretty scared about travelling with a baby. and at the end of our journey, i saw something that made me think "i am not traveling too much with my baby. if i do, i'll not travel during the rainy season. we disembarked from the plane and went down the step ladder. behind us was a family of four  -a couple with their two daughters. the elder one seemed like 4 and the younger one was a toddler. the dad carried the toddler and the poor guy slipped and fell. the mother fell and the baby too fell down! for me it was a panic attack in full on mode. what if i ever slipped like this. what if i hurt my baby? i could never bear it...........it seems i am going to be one of those annoying mothers who rushes to the playground with band aids and dettol if their child trips.

is it normal for me to be so panicky about this? i get nervous about nearly everything i guess.