Lessons Learned Part One

Yes part one. Because i know I'm going to learn quite a lot of lessons.

Lesson no 1: your baby will be most active when you are maximum tired. When your arms feel like they are going to drop off from their sockets and you can't take a step more, your baby will want to play and smile and coo at you.

Lesson no 2: when your house is at its untidiest worst, ALL the guests in the world will drop in. Unexpectedly! Yea this ones true. When your house is super untidy, when just about every outfit you own is lying out of the closet, when the house looks disaster hit, THAT'S that's when someone will pop in for a quick visit.
(Most likely the person who drops in at such a time is a cleanliness freak. Or else that aunt who judges too much or that friend who will gossip about how messy your house was)

Lesson no 3: the baby will have a diaper explosion when you put on the best clothes. Suddenly the diaper you swear by will explode leaving messy trails of you-know-what all over!! This has to happen when your baby is all cutely dressed and you are either about to step out or are in the car on your way or at someone's place or when you want to click a few nice pictures

Lesson no 4: in sync with lesson no 3 if the God feels kind towards you and doesn't grant you a diaper explosion, then the baby will throw up all over. On the bedspread, on his or her own clothes, on the shiny gift, on the diaper bag, and on any clean surface that was within line of sight. Mind you, at this point of time if you are wearing old rags the reflux will not touch you at all. BUT if you are also dressed up to go out then the reflux will be all over you too.

Lesson no 5: in sync with lesson no 2. You will have visitors when you are wearing the oldest clothes you own. The day you dress well and dress the baby well and the baby is behaving angelically no one will be around!!!

Lesson no 6: the no of times baby does poopy is inversely proportional to the no of diapers in your diaper bag. The very day you have just 3 diapers in the bag baby will want to do potty 30667943 times. The day you carry 5477786392 diapers, baby will do potty maybe 1 tine!!!!

Lesson no 7: you will most likely forget to pack what your husband asks you to hand over. Hahahaha always happens with me. Hubs: sweetie i think miss A needs her paci
Me: yea let me give you (superior look on my face) next moment (puppy face and sad eyes) i guess i left it in the steriliser back home. Oopsy.
Hubs: (superior look on his face) duh! How u forget baby? That's why i always remind you everything.
Me: uh huh.

These are the lessons that i have learned till now.

XOXO

Im JEALOUS

Yes i just typed that. I am jealous with a capital J. And you know why? I read these other 'mommy' blogs at times. Some are honest and make me feel normal. At times some moms will write "so i put baby down for a nap and went and did my hair an nails and came home to a sparkling clean house and sterilised the bottles & danced in my high heels. Ok the high heel part is my addition but the way those women manage their homes makes me jealous.

And then i wonder why those other babies can be 'put down' and they nap, whereas trying to make miss A sleep is like preparing for a battle. She will pout and cry sometimes want to be fed, at other times changed and what not when I'm trying to make her nap. Phew! Even thinking about it is making me sweat. And then at the exact time she's to be fed i can't find the burp cloth or the bottle cover or some-such-thing. Makes me feel really annoyed!

Some moms have pictures with their babies enjoying a walk in the park or some such place. There are days when the only walks me and hubs manage are in the house trying to make our baby sleep or rock her and soothe her bcoz of colic. See what I'm talking about???

D-uh this is getting tough! But i immediately head over to the blogs where i feel i can relate to and feel so good about myself.

Paranoid new mama

Hello! I am Samreen. You can call me mrs paranoid! Honestly before the baby came along i was just fine. No crazy paranoia at all. But now that lil miss A is here you can catch me worry about:
Why is she sleeping so much/ so little today
Why is she so fussy today?
Has she eaten too much/ too little?
Is she too hot or cold
Etc etc

I just wanted to know is this normal? Does every mom worry this way? Or am i being weird and need help? Lol!!!

I love.........

I love:
Holding my lil baby in my arms

Looking into her eyes

Seeing her smile, even if she doesn't yet know that she's smiling

Dressing her up in cute outfits. This phase will be short, i know! These days kids start deciding upon their clothes so soon! I'm currently having a blast dressing her up in cutie pie, cuddly outfits.

Hearing her coos and poos

Staring at her while she's lost in thought! No clue what miss A thinks about but its super cute.

Snuggling with her.

When i try to burp her, she cuddles and falls asleep in our arms. Her head finds the cutest spot near my shoulder and i love the feeling of having her sleep on me.

Watching hubs and miss A play together. They are the cutest duo ever. I love them both hugely. Seriously HUGELY

Late feedings. Well i don't really love them and at that point all i wish is for some sleep, but in retrospect i know she's going to grow up soon. So i want to cherish those moments and look back upon them.

Seeing her grow! As in not grow grow but seeing her do new things, look at me, recognize me? hopefully yes, see her do cute things- like when she tries to escape her swaddle, or lifts her head when we are making her sleep - its all way beyond cute. I'm a terrible mom i help her escape the swaddle sorry.

Love it when i give her medicines an she smacks her lil lips for the sweet one and makes funny faces for the yucky one. It looks adorable. ADORABLE!

I know this tops all lists - her baby smell. Its so amazing i fail to understand why people haven't made it into a perfume yet.

The way those tiny hands hold my fingers. I am going to hold those hands tightly all my life and make sure my baby is safe and sound.

This list will go on forever i guess..... Love you miss A.

Mommy feelings

A few years back i was shopping with my lovely sis. She had delivered a baby about four months ago and i had gone to hongkong just to see her baby and her. But since it was the first time i had gone to hkg, she was taking me out and showing me around.

That particular day we were browsing around in various shops, i was picking up lots of knick knacks and stuff and my sister called up home to check up on the baby who was with the nanny. She ha done this a nummmmber of times that morning. And used to do it every time we were out. So i asked her, isn't this namny nice? Are you worried she's not taking care properly of the baby? Do you want us to go back immediately?

To this she replied 'no its not that. The thing is when you have a baby and leave the baby with someone, even if its your own mom or mil or a nanny or a sitter, after some time you just begin to miss your baby. And not like miss but terribly miss. So much that your arms want to hold your kiddo and you can smell the baby smell of your lil one.' Back then i just smiled at her and thought to myself, wow what crazy stuff!

Fast forward to last evening. I went to a mall NEXT DOOR like literally next door. Just to get a couple of things. My baby was at home with hubs and mil. After some time my mil called me to just ask me to get a few more things. And i could hear my lil doll fuss a bit in the background. And oh heavens......can't even explain the feeling i had. I just wanted to run out to my child. My pretty lil baby my fairy princess my darling was fussing and i wasn't there!!!!! I took more time at the mall than planned and i could actually feel my sister's words haunt me. I finished off my work and believe me ran through the mall. My stitches started hurting, but i just wanted to see my lil girl and hold her.

I now understand the feeling of missing my baby so much that i just want to hold her, and miss her to the point that i remember her cute baby smell. I wish i could bottle all this up. Love u my miss A. Mama XOXOXOXO

Embracing motherhood

You know you have embraced motherhood when:
# you have dark circles under your eyes from all the night milk parties.
# when you change diapers atleast 18 times a day...... And stop counting after that.
# when a 'spa' visit means a hot shower!
# when you feel like a total zombie but when you get a toothless smile, ALL the tiredness and the stress goes away
# when your hair sometimes doesn't know what a comb or hairbrush means until 1 pm in the afternoon! Lol yes its happened to me too.
# when you hear a tiny little wail and it breaks your heart because you don't know how to make it stop.
# when an aerated drink is your best friend because you need the sugar rush.
# when you see yourself browsing baby sections in malls and baby websites online.
# when your top google searches are things like 'how to set a schedule for a newborn baby', 'what is the normal feeding schedule for a newborn', ' which is the best diaper' etc.
# when you become one of those annoying people who spam others with cutie pie pictures of your little one. Just because they are too sweet to miss!!!
# when your timings are suddenly known as feed times and burping the baby is a major activity!!!!!
# when you can't remember the time when you had unbroken 8 hours of sleep.
# when all your fancy-schmancy purses are replaced by mommy looking diaper bags.
# when you love someone so much its just in your heart and all over your life. You just want this one tiny little person to be happy and smiling soooooo much always.

When your baby smiles, coos and giggles, laughs and at times cries (at times is pretty frequent btw) you just become the best mom you can be at that moment. And yes the best dad too!!!!

The best gift for new moms

Now that I'm a mom let me list out the best gift you can give new moms

#1 diaper bag
#2 gift certificates
#3 watch her baby for her
#4 baby stuff that she requires. Like maybe baby clothes blankets etc
#BEST : CONCEALER!!!!!
That's the best gift ever. Because we are a sleep deprived lot! Concealer to conceal those terrible dark circles is THE gift. Lol

# second best: energy drinks. We need the sugar rush!

random post i guess
XOXOXOXOXO

ONE MONTH OLD!!!!!!!

My little princess has turned one month old. This one month has got to be the most tiring month of my life. But whenever she looks at me with those pretty brown eyes, i just feel like this month could last forever (ummm no not seriously)

Here are a few things this one month old pint size chicklet does:
- Makes all of us run around
- Tries to support her own head. Well ur still a baby Miss A so stop it
- Tries to turn over. Hopefully the turn happens soon.
- Poops n pees ALL the time. I must have changed like a thousand diapers this month.
- Has NO schedule. We are her slaves. Lol. She just does things at her own pace
- Loves her massage but hates her bath. Infact when we carry her to the bathroom after the masseuse aunty finishes her massage, she starts crying as soon as we step in to the bathroom. God knows whether she recognises it or just knows what's coming next!
- poor thing has colic frequently. We hate to hear her scream. She turns tomato red and many a times i have started crying seeing her like that! Yeah I'm a brave mama!!!!
- makes the cutest sounds when i feed her. Her coos n hmmmms r the sweetest. I love hearing them.
- hates being swaddled. Wants her hands free and struggles instantly! Silly mama that i am i give in and help her free herself. I can't see her cry!
- loves to be walked around. Please blame hubs for this. He started it!!!!
- gives us a tough time to burp her. She wants to wriggle, jiggle and behave like a lil crocodile by lifting her tiny head to look at the person who's trying to burp her!
- smiles at us. Its so cute. The toothless pretty smile. Never can capture it though. Bcoz by the time i reach for my camera / phone the smile is replaced by a frown/ wail/ pout.
- even laughs loudly in her sleep.
- makes the scariest choking sounds and scares us to death.
- needs her wet diapers to be changed INSTANTLY. no delay allowed. We have to scramble like mad!!!!

Love you Miss A. Ur the cutest.
XOXOXOXOXO

Water Pot

OMG so you women put there who are in the pre/post pregnancy stages, remember in our books we read that women experience emotional meltdowns during and after pregnancy? And i completely thought that " noooooo this wont happen to me. " what would you know? Its happening to me. Here are a few reasons why I'll cry these days:
- bcoz my baby's cute
- bcoz i miss my husband when he's on flight
- bcoz my baby is crying
- bcoz i have no reason
- bcoz i feel like crying
- bcoz i m tired
- bcoz there's no way baby is getting pacified
- bcoz i feel like I'll drop in a faint if i don't sleep
- bcoz the sky is so high!!!!

Really ladies, postpartum tears are true!!!! I have cried a number of times in the past few weeks. And trust me its hugely annoying to all those around you.

And it sort of helps to speak with your hubs. But you'll be better off speaking to a friend or sister. Did anyone else experience baby blues?

I'm a MOTHER

I'm a mother I'm a mother. Its such an amazing feeling!!!!!! I'm over the moon
My sweet lil fairy princess arrived on the most amazing date ever. Her dear daddy's birthday is on the 14th of November. So i really wanted to give birth on the 14th making it very special for my hubby. But she decided to surprise us. On the 10th in the morning at 530am i said bye to hubby who was going on flight. And the pains started. Ad i desperately wanted hubs to be with me. So i kept quiet and decided to wait. By ten o clock i told family. My mil said maybe we should wait at home for a while because first babies have many false alarms. So we waited at home. And then when the pains got really a lot, we went to the hospital. All the while my ONLY concern was whether my hubby had landed back or not. Because i didn't want to have a baby without him!!!!

My parents and in laws were at the hospital with me and the doctors and nurses took my oxygen graphs etc. and some stuff that i can't really recollect because i wan in pain. We tried to wait for a normal delivery but then it came to light that the baby had passed some stools. And according to what i had read, this was a serious matter. By this time hubby reached!!!!! I can't tell u the relief i felt when i saw him. Yes i had my mum and my mil with me but i was going crazy without him. When i saw him i was like Ah I'm with him now. So we decided to go in for a C section as recommended by my doctor.

They gave me a spinal anaesthesia and because it was a C section hubs couldn't come in with me. The doctor was like don't worry its a small operation, just give us 15 mins! And actually within 15 mins, at 725 my baby cried. I couldn't believe it. I was dazed totally and was asking my doctor. What's it is it a girl or boy. So he said its a girl and the last thing i remember is him holding my tiny lil princess like a chicken! And they took her out to the paediatricians etc. they wheeled me out, i puked soneI remember   and then we were in our room. There was all family and i had no clue what was happening. Everyone was happy and smiling and i was in a daze. But i was soooooooooo happy in a daze. My baby girl was with me.

Ok now my baby's woken so I'll post later. 

What to expect - my version

ok so in my first trimester, i got the book what to expect when you are expecting. its supposed to be like "THE" book that all pregnant women buy. now i m not criticizing the book. it has been helpful.
spoiler alert if you are not pregnant (but if you are not, how come you are reading my blog)
so this book is nice and all but scary. and i mean scary. like the descriptions and especially the labour and delivery descriptions are enough to put you off childbirth! if you are going to start planning for a family - and u happen to read this book beforehand, i m so sure you will avoid getting pregnant! its just so scary.

anyhow, after reading the book and getting nervous and scared (thankfully i m not a hypochondriac, but imagine if some woman is a poor paranoid hypochondriac, she'll have fits!)
yeah so after reading and getting scared as hell, here's my list of what to expect: (positive ones and a few negatives)

• first off expect to be pampered. by everyone. like mother, father, in laws, cousins, and of course hubby. they will all be sooooo kind and caring that you will feel like a princess.
• food! expect everyone who meets you will try and feed you. or talk to you about food
• cravings. but not necessary everyone gets them. some women do, some don't. i haven't craved for a single thing yet.
• mood swings. yes they happen. yes husbands are bad while dealing with them. go talk to a girlfriend
• anxiety. especially about how you are looking! some people find the extra weight and bloating and not fitting into clothes cute. well good for them. i like my original size and i'm anxious whether i'll get back to it or not.
• morning sickness - very wrongly named morning sickness because it happens anytime. i got really really sick, some people don't get sick , it all depends. for the longest time i didnt take any medication to relieve the sickness because i thought its natural and i shouldn't be interfering with the normal cycles. but when i couldn't even keep water down, i started my medication and it helped me a lot
• everyone says you get great hair and skin and nails. i have not really seen a major difference in mine.
• achy feet. but that's in the end not since the beginning. in the beginning i didn't even look pregnant for the longest time and everyone was worried.
• ok if you are like me: expect to love the 4D sonography. u actually see your baby's face. the earlier sonographies are so alien like that i never really understood anything! honestly. am i stupid? but the 4D was so cute!!!!
• being terrified of delivery. i am! really. everyone including my husband says it'll be okay. what does he know - he's never going to deliver man! its easy to give advise but i dont like pain. i'm sooooo nervous, i guess everyone is but its not like we have a choice now, do we????
• if you are indian expect to be irritated with the doc about not knowing the gender of the baby.
• expect to be happy bcoz after deliver you will be at mom's place! yay fun!!
• ooooh get lazy. u can order people around and they wont refuse you! really thats fun!

so this was my version. go read the book for the scary gory details. 

XOXOXO

Lil bit of me Lil bit of you

So last night me and hubs were chit chatting. we were speaking of how cool it is that some people adopt babies. personally i feel you need to have a HUGE seriously HUGE heart to raise someone else's baby as your own. reason? well as my baby or in our baby i will always find my family. like i know certain habits will be like me, some might remind me of hubs, something might remind me of my daddy, and some quirk will remind me of someone.....you get the idea.
since then i have been thinking that there are soooooo many things i will learn about my baby. right now, inside of me, i have a GOOD lil baby. my baby doesn't like outside food, makes me eat only home cooked food, loves fruits and likes to eat on time. hopefully, lil one when you open your eyes on the big bad world also you continue with these habits!
so i got thinking - what all will baby like?
Vegetarian food? or non veg?
sweets or spicy foods?
milk or no milk? (no milk is me! )
what will be your favourite fruit?
And your favourite drink?
What will be your favourite colour?
favourite season?
your hobbies?
your passions?
will you read like mama?
will you dance like mama?
will you play sports like daddy?
soooooo many questions to be answered. and unfortunately patience isnt truly my virtue!
but one thing's for sure. your mom has to be your favourite lady! (until you get a wife if ur a boy, then we can share) and daddy will be your favourite man / superhero (until you get a husband if u r a girl then we'll have to make daddy share.................but ummmmm daddy's remain AWESOME for their daughters all their life)
and one thing is for sure - you lil baby will be our FAVOURITE person in the whole world! i can't wait to see bits of me and of hubs in our bay.....(aaaarghhhhhh are u a girl or boy?????????)
XOXOXO

How to be a good mother

i guess i am too young for this mother job! because i dont wish to be a supermom. like one of those amazing women with a hundred hands and they are juggling a thousand things in those hundred hands. i just want that my baby has a nice normal childhood - just the way i had mine, not too much pressure (mind u i say not too much because these days the competition is inevitable) and a nice safe house to come back to. through my baby's life, i want my baby to know that he/she can do whatever he/she wants (provided its legal obviously) and whatever happens daddy and mommy are there back home for the kid.

the first pre-requisite is already fulfilled each woman who gives birth is a good mom i feel. u have to carry around the baby with u, make sure the baby is nourished and protected so already a woman is conditioned to be a good mom. Lol this means kangaroos are best mothers..........well no i dont mean that.

when i finally have the baby and when baby goes to school etc. maybe things will change. but i just want a nice happy childhood for my kid. i want my kid to believe in Santa Claus, read a fairy tale to my kiddo, make him/her read enid blyton, play a lot, fall down a bit, listen to family stories, be loved by grandparents, overeat the freshly baked cakes, jump on the bed and dance in the rain. its not like i will pull my child out of school and let him/her be at home. but i also dont want to make my kiddo join Ballet, swimming, dancing, yoga, culture class, tutions, skating, karate, aerobics, tennis and every other imaginable activity. so many kids spend their childhood running from class to class these days - what will they remember of their childhood?

i have seen so many moms multi tasking and taking their kids to malls and egging them on in the playzone areas to do better. at times these kids are being bribed for lack of time maybe. all i want to say in this long rambling post is to be a good mom, i should remember not to do all these things.

Just let my kid be. Kids are pretty forgiving. my baby needs my time, not my pressures. i'll bake cakes, teach my kid the small pleasures in life, and point out what he/she wants to know. i can be around when my baby falls and pick him/her up, and run ahead with him/her again. at times i'll be strict, but here's to the fact that i'll grow with my baby. 

The name game

In India the baby is named by the husband's sister. but things are changing and almost always everyone selects a name together. and hopefully this continues for me too (fingers crossed). i have had a few favourite names since childhood but there's also the constraint of naming the kid according to the letter suggested by the religious men. but not everyone follows that! and i dont know if i am going to be made to follow it but let's see......

And of course not knowing whether the baby is a boy or a girl makes it all quite difficult to choose names. So to summarise: aunty names baby, baby might have to be named according to a particular letter, and we dont know the gender- have all hampered our name game yet.

but here are a few things i want to remember while naming the lil one.

• i would love a name that means something nice cross culturally. like i dont want it to be only indian nice or arabic nice or asian nice. i want it world-wide nice
• i want to name the baby something that he/she will LOVE. lots of people have names which they dont like. but since my baby has to carry it through his/her life - it has to be something that he/she will always love
• it should sound correct. Shakespeare was totally bluffing when he said "What's in name?" if he believed in it why didnt he call Romeo - bumpy and Juliet - Minnie? or something as silly? 
• it should suit the lil personality that my baby has and the one she/he will develop later. like if i call him Rambo and he isnt the Rambo types? u see what i m trying to say here?
• call me old fashioned but if i have a girl i want a sweet sounding delicate kinds name. and a nice strong name for a boy. 
• i dont want to be bogged down by numerology and weird spellings that people make for good luck.
• the name shouldn't shorten to a weird/cruel/stupid nickname. i dont want my baby to be made fun of in school.
• my baby's initials need to be good. I know people whose initials are c.a.t or m.a.d. i feel really sorry for them.
• it should be easy to spell and learn when my baby starts learning to spell
• the name should appeal to me afterall i m the MUM

Let's count your blessings

At times i have to be mommy-like and teach my kid a few good things. one main value i'll definitely instill in my child is to respect God - in all forms and all religions. i want my child to know that there's a supreme being who we all have to respect and we must all know that God wills our life for us. things get a little tough at times but at the end, depend on God and all will be okay. and count your blessings - always. there are a hundred things that i need or want or have to think about and a hundred things running on my mind. but once you count your blessings you feel so nice and at peace. so babie - today we r going to count your blessings - specifically in the form of all the people you have around you. this way u'll learn a bit more about all of us too

• You are lucky you get to meet your great grand parents! they are waiting to see you, the baby of their 
• lil grandkid.....so their excitement is three-fold
• You are lucky to have cool grandparents. Naani and nana - (mum's parents) are already over excited to get to know you. you will be thoroughly spoilt there. and i can totally see daadi dada (dad's parents) spoiling u right now too.....by making me eat by making sure u are not troubled at all! they are all over excited to meet you. plus like they all say - they are 'young' so they are going to run around with you everywhere :)
• You are lucky to have the most awesome dad in the world. he is currently the BEST husband (well what do i know - i have only one but i m guessing he is ;) lol) he is always going to be there for you, take care of you, play all those (mindless) video games, carry you around, shop for you, teach you many things, be the nice over-protective daddy, just be awesome! i can totally see that he'll love you like crazy.
• you are lucky to have nice maasis (aunties - mom's sisters) who will spoil you again. They have spoilt me - your mum so its no surprise that they'll love their lil sister's baby. They will probably be the ones who'll smuggle chocolates and candies to you (just like i did for their kids). you are lucky to have a special maasi (S u know its u) who i havent met but she's a part of my life as much as anyone else. she's smart and talented and i will make her give you all the advise needed to be a nice person. 
• you are lucky to have an awesome bhua (aunty - dad's sister). she's been waiting for your arrival since day 1 and i think she has a plan in place for every single day of your life. she's going to be the best teacher who'll teach you funny and cool things alongwith the more serious stuff. 
• you are lucky to have all your elder cousins who will teach you bratty ways (Oh God how i'll spank u!!!) they'll baby you, fight with you, torture you and play with you. cousins are some of the best friends a person has, so make sure you bond well baby. they are like genetically God given friends. 
• you are lucky to have nice uncles. they will probably hang out with your daddy more than with you, but its because of these uncles that all your aunties are so happy! 
• and baby you are lucky to have me - your mum! i mean you have to count me in your blessings - i m not so bad! i'll play with u, try and teach u the right things, save everything of urs in a scrapbook, be your best friend, grow up with u, love u, kiss u till you get embarrassed in front of ur friends, and generally be the person u want me to be. 

these are just a few people i can think of. they all love me and i love them back. i'm sure my babie will love them all too. 

To my dear baby

Here are a few things i always wanted to do as a kid but wasnt allowed/stopped by my mum...........i'm thinking i'll let lil baby do these:

watch TV all day and night (ummm no not really)
eat loads of chocolate (yeah and join him/her)
go out and play in the rain
go out and play with wet hair
jump and dance in the bathroom and never come out....(yeah i was weird)
eat breakfast without brushing (yuck i never wanted to do it but maybe this lil one wud like this)
bunk school for fun (like just not go to school)
not interact with some weird people like the aunts and uncles who always said "oooooh u have grown up./ ..remember my name???" kind of people
not arrange the cupboard.........if this doesnt make me the BEST mother ever i dont know what will!
not force him/her to drink milk (i hated it...it used to be a major drama in my house every single day)

My pre baby vacation

We went to Goa for a friend's wedding, it was amazing. i had the best time.....it was so much fun to be alone, have a lot of time with hubby, dress up and have nothing else to do! Bliss! i couldnt help but think of this time next year......if we go on vacation, it'll be with bags of baby clothes, food, diapers, sanitizers, baby formula, tissues, and the list will go on......HELP HELP HELP

At times i get pretty scared about travelling with a baby. and at the end of our journey, i saw something that made me think "i am not traveling too much with my baby. if i do, i'll not travel during the rainy season. we disembarked from the plane and went down the step ladder. behind us was a family of four  -a couple with their two daughters. the elder one seemed like 4 and the younger one was a toddler. the dad carried the toddler and the poor guy slipped and fell. the mother fell and the baby too fell down! for me it was a panic attack in full on mode. what if i ever slipped like this. what if i hurt my baby? i could never bear it...........it seems i am going to be one of those annoying mothers who rushes to the playground with band aids and dettol if their child trips.

is it normal for me to be so panicky about this? i get nervous about nearly everything i guess.

The fashion conscious new mommy

So sue me! I love to be dressed up at all times. I dont mean dressed up like i have a party to attend every night but i love clothes (a little more than normal) and love to be well dressed and smartly turned out. Is that wrong? Just becasue i am expecting, people expect me to look tired out and under-dressed. One of my cousin sisters even mentioned to me - ' oh you are dressed up. My cousin used to be so shabbily dressed'. Is that normal? Am i acting abnormal for my time?

And what's wrong in being dressed up anyway? When my baby sees my pictures from before he/she was born - why should he/she see a drab mother? And it goes without saying that i will dress up my cuddly in the best possible thingies for him/her. (isn't it agravating - he/she, him/her? imagine how i feel about it!!!!)

The Motherhood crash course

As a lil girl, i always thought that all mothers have a secret society. When they are preparing to be mommies, they are secretly inducted in for a crash course where they ALL learn certain dialogues and common traits. Why did i think so? Because all the mothers i saw around me, like my aunts and cousins and my own mum obviously  - said a LOT of similar dialogues to their children.

If you're Indian, (or maybe even not an Indian maybe it was a global society!!!) you will totally nod through these dialogues. Hopefully i won't use these. Or maybe i will, time can only tell......

#1   Clean your room! Now! you cant go out and play until you clean your room.
#2   How can you ever find anything in this mess?
#3   Dont you dare talk to your mum in that tone. No! dont change it now, you know you said it rudely. Say sorry! Say sorry now!!!!
#4   Go and finish your homework. After that we'll see about TV.
#5   I never troubled my mother so much. I was such a well behaved child. Ask your naani (mother's mother = naani)
#6  You are sitting too close to the TV, you'll get specs. Come behind.
#7   Eat this! I dont care if you throw up. I want that plate clean.
#8   You'll only realize my value when you stay alone. That time you'll understand why mum says these things (in an emotional tone)
#9   I shout at you to make you a better person baby.
#10  Get off the telephone. You are going to spoil your ears!
#11  Who are you speaking to? (typically asked by Indian mums once the girl is a teenager!)
#12   What time will you be back? Kid: 8 pm. Mom: No make it 7. Kid: aaaah no 7:45. Mom: 7:15. Kid: Ok (sad face)
#13   Mum knows best. Do what I am telling you to do. Dont ask silly questions. You'll appreciate this one day.
#14  Don't ask me anything henceforth. You are going to do what you want anyway so why ask me....hmmph.
#15   Behave yourself.
#16  Behave at the party/wedding /social function. I dont want people to think that i have raised a brat.
#17  No! You are not old enough / you're too old for this (depending on the situation)
#18  Money doesn't grow on trees. Daddy  /We work hard to earn it. Learn to use it carefully.
#19  If you make that face again, it'll get stuck in that position.
#20  (this comes when you are a little grown up) - What if everyone jumped off into the sea/well? You will also jump? Can't you use your sense?
#21  I don't care what XYZ's mom says. My answer is a no. Others can do what they want.
#22  I am not coming to meet your teacher/principal. You better behave in school.
#23  You better look at me when i talk to you. I don't like it when you text when i m speaking.
#24  Are you going out wearing that? At least comb your hair!
#25  Don't you understand when i say no?
#26  I am going to tell Dad (as if he's some monster)then you deal with him.

Also, all mothers seem to know a lot of unfortunate people. Like the boy who didn't eat spinach / carrots / some other veggie and got thick specs. Or the girl who went out to play with wet hair and got a bad fever and missed her best friend's birthday party. Or the girl who didn't listen to her mum and used the telephone while it was charging and got a bad shock, or the girl who pierced her ears in too many places and it got badly infected etc etc...........Lol

And another favourite used to be: Ask your dad, and when you went to ask dad he would say ask your mum.

Writing all these down, made me smile and think of my childhood. and now that i look back, maybe, just maaaybe there's a bit of wisdom there. I should totally use these with my baby!!! 

Aaaargh i want to dream right!!!!

Hmmph! I HATE the doctors in India. Because of the fact female foeticide which has been rampant in pockets of India (very bad!!! Ass***) the Government has passed a law that no one like absolutely NO ONE will be told the sex of their baby. Which makes me sad because i want to know whether i am dreaming right.

Right now i am so desperate to know whether i should dream of frills and pigtails or of Gi Joe or cars or whatever action figures. Sob i really really want to know badly.......not that if i have a son, i wont let him play with a doll. But i'll definitely be (more than a little) worried if he insists on buying doll houses.....Wish the doctors would tell us whether its a little Miss or a little master i am going to say hello to. Whether we'll have a little Daddy's girl or a Mama's boy........my little baby.....

But anyway, since i am not allowed to know who it is that i am carrying around, here's a little letter to my sweet lil prince/princess. No pressure sweetie but these are the traits i want you to have whether you are a girl or a boy. Like mama says, no pressure but if my baby is exactly like this, he/she will be one sweet lil obedient child!

Let's get on:
Looks: Daddy's. Take all of daddy's looks whether you are a girl or boy. It would be so cool to love two people who look similar. So hair / eyes/ nose/ lips etc etc should be daddy's.
Height: Daddy again! You dont want to be short my love. Be tall like daddy so mama can ask you to reach the higher shelves everywhere ;)
Athletic co-ordination: Oohhhh Definitely daddy's. Mama has zero hand eye co-ordination. You will be better off with being as athletic as your dad is.
Dancing Abilities: These should come from mama. Daddy doesn't dance. At all! Ever!
Directional Skills: Please be like daddy. Apart from the fact that daddy's profession demands it, he is exceptionally good with remembering roads and all. And poor lil me cant remember the way back home! (well not so bad but you get the drift)
Studies: Languages like mama but maths and other subjects like daddy. If you inherit my mathematical skills our family will be in real trouble! Maths HAS to be like daddy! Please!!
Concentration: Like daddy's. He is very good at being focused and stuff.
Creativity: Mama's. Though daddy measures up pretty well, he is sightly on the lower side of the scale. (sorry hubs - but i love you loads anyway)
Metabolism: Mama's please sweetie. Daddy as true blue punjabi genes and you dont want to be sweating it out in the gym. Trust me. Please take mine.
Nature: Ummmm tough one. Be like daddy, strong, kind, understanding, patient. But daddy's shy too, so maybe pick up a lil bit of un-shyness from mama and combine it with the best qualities from daddy. So all in all be a good combo. I mean it wont help if you are shy like dad and stubborn like mom. Thats a bad combo. Make it like sweet like dad and cautiously friendly like mama. Thats a nice combo. Ok? And be organised like daddy. Currently since i am the only one who's unorganised, daddy's ok with it, but i don't think he can take two of us!!!

Rest everything can be like dad! He is an awesome man!!! Like you'll obviously learn. He is the BEST dad any lil girl or boy could ever have. I am going to be the hitler i guess. Dad's going to be the sweeter one. Of course if you are a lil girlie, then you'll have him wrapped around your pinkie on day 1! And if you are a boy, you can expect him to be the PERFECT role model!

Love you lil baby. Just wish i knew whether you are a girl or boy!

XOXOXO

Things I miss most..........

Being in the waddly dawdlly state, here are a few things i miss most about not being pregnant (did i say that right? i meant what i miss about my pre-pregnancy days. Anyhoo.....here goes)

• My waistline.i don't have one anymore. *Sob*
• Drinking. You so knew that was going to come up.
• Dancing - I love to dance, it's one of my favourite exercises, and now i cant do it because i am a chunky monkey....
• Being able to just run / jog. Not that i am very athletic! Infact i am as non sporty as they come. But when you live in a city like mumbai and are as forgetful as i am, you have the moments wherein you just need to 'dash' to the bank/store; run to the supermarket or just generally jog around and enjoy the stinky pollution fresh air.
• Being able to move around quickly. I look like an energetic top half pulled behind by my laggy bottom half. All you women out there, i can just see you nod and smile. Men will never understand this. Unless they have massive beer bellies!
• Fitting into most of my clothes. I now have to shop for larger clothes (Yay shopping but uggh Size M or L or shudder XL!) Now i open my wardrobe and scour around for loose clothes.
• Wearing Heels.........When you are the size i am (petite - which is just a nicer word for short) and Mr Hubs is a tall man, heels are your best friend! (After diamonds of course. I don't want hubs to read this and buy me heels instead of diamonds. He is obviously allowed to buy me both!)
• Being quick. Pregnancy sort of slows you down. I admire all the mothers who have a second kid while while managing their first (crazy active) kids all by themselves.
• Being normal. Lol not that i am abnormal but people generally expect me to be a little more mature now that i'll be a mother.
• Binge eating. Very very surprisingly, now that i am pregnant, my food habits have become very picky. I can eat only in moderate quantities. I love you baby for making me so diet conscious....hope this lasts even after you come here. My healthy lil babie (dreamy smile)
• Doing random things at random times. (i am pretty sure hubs is happy this isnt happening anymore) but you know small things like - eating late, sleeping later, keeping weird timings, all just changes because the lil one needs to be regulated!

I miss these things though i am sure its not going to be for long. Hoping that my running/dancing/ doing stupid things energy lasts until after my baby gets to toddlerhood so i can run behind him/her. Won't i be a cool mom!

XOXOXO

Food Habits

Ever since people came to know i am expecting, i get a lot of foodie comments......not in the good sense. All my life i have been a normal-healthy eater, never been picky about what i eat, and my weight has been average or a bit below average. Just because i now carry a baby, people assume i should eat double or maybe even more!

A normal day for me starts off with - please drink milk, you need it, you must have milk, its so not good that you don't like milk, how will the kid get calcium blah blah......

Then comes the dry-fruit assault..........followed by the lunch barrage......and then dinner....

I just cant understand how much am i supposed to eat. Plus if i over-eat, i immediately throw up so what's the use? I also get lectures about how I should eat a lot of butter and meats so that the baby is delivered easily!!! Old Indian myths continue to rule motherhood till this day.

Reactions

When we told everyone that we are going to be parents - we had very typical Indian reactions from everyone in the family and extended family. And friends..........I thought I should document the reactions so that ALL you expectant parents will know what your family thinks....... Remember that being Indian, it's sort of considered that now that you're married you MUST reproduce so whenever you announce the 'good-news' everyone is going to be happy! That's the first reaction  (has to be we are the bloody second largest population.......people here have kids ALL the time)

Me: No! Really? How? No! OMG I am freaking out I can't do this its too huge!!!
Hubs: No! Really?? How? OMG we don' even look like parents!
MIL: Wow!!! Thank God......it's all God's blessings it's what God wished for! (Fervent hugs and kisses and God's blessings showered upon us)
FIL: Good! I am happy......
My mum: Good! Its the right age........its what God's wishes.....(fervent hugs and kisses and God's blessings) start drinking a lot of milk and have lots of juices........at this point the MIL n mum will join forces about how i don't take care of myself and berate me for two minutes. After realizing that i am the one who's giving them so much happiness (few tears - happy of course) they start with how nice it is that i am young and having a child at the "correct" time and how they are young enough to enjoy grandkids (why the plural!!!!!)
My Dad: Very good I am happy.....your mum doesn't look like a grand mother though......(awww daddy )
Hubs dadi: Waah! Thank God we are so happy....and a few words about 'humaare zamaane main.....'
Hubs dadaji: Smiles and says good, I just feel too weird and go out!
Hubs Naani: Thank God....I am going to see par pota/poti (or whatever is the right term) waah waah happy smiles hugs and kisses......eat lots of ghee.......apni sehat banao, you hardly eat....take eat some almonds!
Uncles (like mama / chacha etc): Oh great!
Aunties (like mami / chachi etc): We are promoted.....arre waah! do you get sick often? What do you feel like eating???
Cousin sisters - Elder ones: Oooooh wow! you will be in our league, long list of do's and don'ts (secretly they are just happy I'll also become fat i feel!!!!)
Cousin sisters - Younger ones: round eyed looks and loads of squeals..........(wait until u get here kiddo!)
Cousin brothers - whether young or elder ones get extra careful when you are around..It feels surreal because these were the boys who wanted to kick your dolls and tear your ribbons and generally fight with you. Few cooler ones will also advice you not to drink! (like i didn't know that sob sob)

Now the friends......the friends fall into three categories -married ones - with kids, married ones - without kids and unmarried ones.

Unmarried ones: wow! This is amazing I get to be uncle/aunty! Unbelievable!!!!! Yay I am going to baby sit for you ok....i LOVE kids (yeah sure let's see if you do!!)
Married ones (with kids): Great! Its the BEST feeling in the world, you will be great parents. ANY help tell us ok, anything you need to know!!!! the guys will then start about how their wives craved for something, the girls will advise me about some doctors / medications / home remedies / weird kiddie stories) All this is happening when they are wrestling  taking care of their own babies.
Married ones (without kids): WHAT!!!!!!!! Really! No!!!! How are you feeling? Listen please don't mention at my place ok.......our in laws are already behind us........can't believe it! Fervent discussion about let's not tell at home because we'll be dead types!

Anyone who personally knows me and is reading this - these are really the reactions guys, but I am documenting them just for fun.......please don't take it to your heart!

XOXOXO

Why cant kids grow on trees......

Especially when we had been told stories of birds n bees!!!!

What? a title.......i can just see the 'perfect' mommies n granmommies glaring at me and clucking with disapproval. Trust me i am not being mean.....just getting a little more tired with this waddling business.......feel like a penguin at times.....

but honestly in a well programmed world - let's imagine a baby came well programmed - blinked a certain way when hungry, gave a proper signal when wanted changing and then we all would live happily ever after!!!!!

what a random thought! but certainly most new mommies feel like this - dont you lie!

ooooh btw where can i find a good pair of maternity pants in Mumbai? I checked in many places but just couldn't find any..........One weird woman in whose shop I asked also said ' ummm no madam maternity pants nahi hain lekin pregnancy nighties hain" (we don't have maternity pants but have maternity nighties) So? Is that a valid substitute? If you can't find pants, wear a nightie???? Whatever can people think of!!!!

Floundering..........

Since we have found out that i am expecting, we have received a number of reactions and of course (unsolicited) advice from people who already have kids. I also began reading up on pregnancy, and early childcare and things like that. And not to mention the numerous trips to the malls to check out stores which sell baby stuff.

Till date whenever we passed baby stores or walked through a baby aisle in the shops we used to be like 'awwww' and thats that! But now knowing that i have to buy and probably make a tiny being wear these things makes me freak! haha dont get me wrong i am excited but also scared. And what all do i really need? Do we need a crib and a Moses basket and a pram and a child strappy thingy carrier and some weird harness specially attached with a diaper bag? Do I need to buy ergonomic bottles and weird shaped things? oooooh btw the pram/ stroller (dunno the difference yet) that my hubsie looooved was some branded Mc Laren thingy and it cost 35000 rupees. (approx: 520 Euros or 630 USD!!!) Is that normal amount? To spend for something in which the baby will mostly not be inside ALL the time? I am sure the baby will get picked up! I mean people will love my babie isn't it? So then should we get that?

And what in the world is a baby changing pad? Why can't i lay the baby on a bed and change its diaper? Which reminds me i should learn to change a diaper!!!! and make hubs learn too......

All this scares me sooooo much........i hope i get the proper things needed for my baby.....and what all do i need to get? I wish some diaper God (most likely a Goddess) will meet me and say 'here - you need to buy only this!!!!' will that happen?

does everyone go through this? or is it only me????

The Diaper Diary begins......

Hey!
I am an expectant mother in my early twenties. Expected to deliver my baby in November or December beginning......and have never been so nervous / excited / terrified / happy / depressed / confused in my whole life! Want to reach out to all the moms in the world and check out whether they feel the same and what do they do at such times.

The eye opener was when my sis' toddler came over and i asked him how to remove his diaper! it struck me how unprepared i am for this new life i am heading into! aaaaargh!!!!

i hope to be a nice mom though and what i lack in experience will try and make up in enthusiasm!!!!

XOXOXO