Building Confidence 101

As a kid, I was pretty under confident. Part of it stems from the fact that I was naturally a shy child, and part of it from the fact that I would really let things affect me a lot. Like a little bit of teasing in  school and I would overthink and draw away further into my shell. It still happens to me a lot, but as an adult I deal with it a lot better. So, when my daughter was born, it felt natural to me that I need to instill a good amount of confidence in her. I wanted her to be confident and a leader, smart and not caring about the negatives. So I did was any other mommy would do, googled the crap out of it. i googled, 'how to build confidence in babies', to 'how to make sure your kids are confident'. 'Confidence booster for kids', 'Raising confident children' etc etc.

However, I am still struggling. I still get the feeling that Miss A isn't comfortable with a lot of things in school and I see her slowly losing her self assurance. Small things like she writes slowly in class, or she eats slower, or hasn't won an award for colouring etc is affecting her. She feels she isn't good enough and let's that spoil her mood for the day. So how do I deal with that.

1. Let her be.
Firstly, I have always accepted that she isn't a sporty person. And I am trying to tell her that you accept it as well. We have been telling her that God gifts different things to different people and it's up to us to use that gift. It doesn't matter to us if she doesn't run or do Judo well.

2. Focus on the Positives
Instead I have told her to focus on her positives. Like she draws well, paints beautifully. She is meticulous in everything she does. She is always well dressed (ok that part is currently mine, but she loves it herself). She has a kind heart that reaches out to the less fortunate.

3. But be Realistic
We don't say all of this to her every single day. Pay her little compliments, but not all the time and make them real. Example: she has completed her homework in great handwriting, I will compliment her handwriting, while encouraging her to do better/faster/ next time. Don't go overboard with praise because they won't get that elsewhere and that disturbs them a lot.

4. Setting goals
We set small but achievable goals. Like reading one page daily, or skip counting daily, which is fun but also small enough to easily achieve. They will be happy to know that they can achieve so much within a short period of time.

5. Dealing with the world
By far, this is the toughest. At home, we always create a loving, cushioned environment for our children. They are loved, respected, and cared for but at the same time, it's important to prepare them for the world. And so when we are generally chatting, I will tell her that it's ok for another person to have a different perspective. A lot of people will day different things about the same thing. But that doesnt make it any more or less nicer. it takes all sorts to make the world.


Now by no means am I qualified psychologist. But I am a qualified certified MOM! How do you deal with building confidence?

Declutter Madness

If you thought that I would post about Mother's Day you were so wrong. Instead I thought let me post about something that would make us feel loved, cared for and is one of the biggest things on our minds. Mess! How to clean up? How to keep things clean? How to clean the little ones messes?

Does your everyday feel like a maze? A mystery puzzle where you are trying to find 6 things hidden in this room? Believe me I have totally been there. I have been guilty of ordering several packets of wipes because I couldn't find where they went, I have ordered backups of many things since they got lost always!

And in the middle of the night I have also had panic attacks because it's been overwhelming. Because you know, finding toys all around, having clothes to put away, a separate pile to be washed isn't the easiest thing on the planet. All mommies out there, I hear you. I went through the same thing and all it takes is a bit of tweaks here and there and you're set.

First: to make things easier for you, let's do this room by room. There's no way in he** that I will tell you to clean the whole house together. No way! Not unless you have some solid help, and your little one is going to be away. This is real life ladies! We need to do this room by room. So let's begin:

Step 1: Set a timer, and pep yourself up. No honestly, pep yourself up. Watch some youtube videos, read some blogs and look at pictures of clean and tidy rooms. It really will charge you up, make you get into that cleaning-up-now zone. Set your timer to anything from 30 mintues to 2 hours or more, depending on what you want to do. However, remember that you will feel burnt out. So take small snatches and clear them up.

Step 2: Be ruthless. If you are declutering your cosmetics for example, just throw away 60% of them. You might think that one day you will use them, but by the time that one day rolls around, you will have to buy new stuff since this will have expired. Also, things change, skin texture changes especially after mommyhood. Many a times, I have found that the things I was previously using, don't suit me well, and hence have to switch them anyway.

If it's clothes that you are decluttering, give them off. Don't hang on to those "Bali" cothes, the "Goa" clothes and the oh but what if I visit Scandinavia hence the warm clothes. If you have enough space, vaccumm pack them and store them in a box, they will be better stored that way anyway.

For kids clothes, it's best to donate them to any orphanage.  For accessories and shoes, well just get rid of them. Have you ever come across something in your own wardrobe and thought, well I didnt even remember when I bought that? Well, if you didn't remember, you could do away with it. Or if you look at it the other way, you just shopped in your own closet!

Step 3: Look at your timer. Don't over load yourself. This is the trick. When you clean smaller areas in shorter bursts, it's easier to get back into your daily grind. Or else, you feel really overwhelmed. It's simple to clear off say a couple of drawers from your baby's toy chest or a few parts of your kitchen cupboard. This way you save the steam for the next day's cleaning as well.

Step 4: Take a picture. Enjoy your decluttered area. Reward yourself with a nice massage or just be by yourself for 15 minutes and relax.you deserve it.

Tackle the other areas on other days. By breaking the decluttering into smaller chunks, you will find that it's easier to maintain and keep on doing it as well.

All the best!

Diaper Sagas

When Miss A was a new born, I was pretty clueless. It's taking a lot lot of courage to let you all know on social media that the very first time I went out with Miss A, to the pediatrician, all I carried with me was her doctor's file, one diaper and a onesie. Yes I forgot the wipes, a toy, food for me, and the one hundred other things we need while out and about. 

Very obviously, Miss A decided that was the best time to nurse (no cover), poop (no wipes), spit up post the nursing (no burp rag) and also cry with colic. That day I came home and wrote a list. And stuck the list on my dressing mirror! Since then, I have come a long way and leanrt so many things. Now my bag has a lot of first aid stuff (which kid doesn't fall), snacks (because they get hungry) and entertainment. Vidya Balan didn't lie when she said all we Indians need is Entertainment, entertainment & entertainment! The context was vastly different but you get the gist.

So here are a few pointers for your diaper bags!

1. 0-12 months

These babies basically need diapers and wipes. Because the day you have less diapers, they manage a blow out. So always keep 4 or more diapers and wipes. And if you use cloth diapers you need wet bags to store them to bring home to wash. Others, please be kind enough to carry those scented diaper disposal bags like these here, and tie up dirty diapers in them. It's extremely yucky and unhygienic to see dirty diapers tossed into the rubbish bin without proper wrapping. 

You can use some zipper bags to store everything in one place. This way, at the busy airport or the mall or any other place, you won't need to find each thing separately. Just grab the pouch with diapers, wipes and diaper cream. Also keep sanitiser and mat in this same pouch along with a hand wash liquid if you like. Another good idea is to carry the lotion, soap etc in travel sized bottles and refill them as and when you need, which saves space in your bags.

Another pouch can have the clothes and socks. One more pouch for some food items and you are good to go. Nursing cover, or a dupatta can be multi purposed as a car seat cover and sorts a lot of issues right from prying eyes to crazy food spills down your top! Don't forget to carry medicine for colic, travel sickness etc.

2. 1 to 3 years

These little ones need a lot of entertainment and food and also some comfort toys. This is a time when kids start getting really independent and this is a good time to have snack boxes like these so that kids can be encouraged to eat by themselves. Also remember to carry water bottles for them along with a cap or some sort of sun cover as well as a mosquitto repellant and sunscreen. Carry a bib or an apron to keep them clean while eating as well. These days we get fabulous wipe away silicon bibs. Just be careful with the silicon bibs though, sometimes they may cause allergies at the neck.

3. 3 years plus.

At this age most kids are potty trained. However from experience I have learnt that they also catch UTI quickly. Hence please include a seat sanitiser like Pee Safe or toilet liners. Also carry extra inner wear in case of accidents because you know, tiny bladders can only hold in so much! A lot of snacks, some bribery things in case you need to bribe them for an injection or anything. These kids will also do well with some paper and crayons or chalk. 

You might also need a small first aid pouch with the basics like band aids, a small nail clipper, and some ointment and antiseptic swabs. These little ones are naughty, they run, fall, get shoe bites, and what not. It's best to keep such things handy so that you can kiss little ouchies good bye.

What's in your diaper bags?